Lately I’ve been struggling with patience, and I’ve been “wanting”… I want things that I feel like I’ll never have. And I guess that’s where my lack of patience comes in. I want to know if I will ever have them! Will I? Huh? Huh? I know I’m being extremely vague, and that’s okay. I feel better just typing this.

I’ve been a bad blogger lately and failed to write posts for Elliot turning 10 and 11 months old. In fact, he’s going to be a year old in a little over 2 weeks. Wait, did I really just type that? My son is going to a whole YEAR old. Wow, I can’t believe it. We’re throwing him a party… nothing extravagant, but it’ll be fun. I’ll write about it after the fact… and after I cry about my baby not being a baby anymore.

Oh, and did I mention he’s walking? WALKING.

A [not so] enigmatic post

<rant> I’m probably the only person on this planet that hates Saturday. I hate it. I loathe it. I try and find the good in it, by using it as time to focus on myself, but time and time again my disgust for it prevails. I’m envious of the quality time others get to share with their loved ones on this day, while my husband is at work until ungodly hours. Maybe I’m just feeling sorry for myself, but I’m just so sick of it. </rant>

I used to love (LOVE) music.

Music used to be my life. During my college years, I went to at least 2 shows a week, and I even majored in Music Industry. You’d never find me without my iPod, and I was always on top of every good new release, sometimes even before they were officially released.

So what happened? I’m not sure, but music slowly became less and less of a priority for me. I quit my “fancy” Music Industry job in New York City, and moved down to Virginia. Oh, and then I got married.

Ben has always been an avid music lover too, and we even met through music. However, it seems that when life happens the first things to go are your hobbies. You get a full time job that doesn’t allow you to immerse yourself in music culture 8+ hours and day, and then by the time you get home you want to veg out on the couch and turn off your brain. The result? Falling terribly behind.

Don’t get me wrong, I still listen to music, but it seems that I’m 75% stuck on the same stuff I was “stuck” on when I stopped avidly pursing new music. Every once in a while I get a sweet new release from a friend, or I hear a great new artist on NPR, but overall, my zeal has faded.

Coming to this realization has made me really sad. Music used to be such a big part of my life, so losing it almost makes me feel like I’ve lost myself. However, at the same time, I wouldn’t even know how to get it back. I guess there is no “getting it back” the same way I had it before, and I just need to accept the person I am now. My priorities have shifted, and I don’t work in the music industry anymore.

I’m growing up, I guess, and I’m happy with my life now… sometimes it’s just hard to comprehend change.

Friday begins with an F

Normal people love Friday’s. Not I. I can’t remember the last time I’ve had an easy Friday, leaving myself with enough mental and physical strength to actually do something after work. Then again, I’m more of a homebody anyway.

Today, like any other Friday is no exception, and it started off worse than most. In the past week, I’ve brought my car to the shop because the check engine light kept coming on. I was hoping yesterday would have been the last time, but nope, this morning it came on AGAIN — for the 3rd time in about a week. Then, I lost part of my iPhone case in my car. You know, the little piece that goes in the headphone port? Well, it’s gone, but it’s somewhere in my car. I looked everywhere though — under my floor mats, under my seat, and nothing. It disappeared. How is that even possible?!

I try not to let the little things get to me, but I just want this week to be over. My coworker Matt is getting married tomorrow, so I am definitely looking forward to attending the wedding with Ben. Then, on Sunday my other coworker, Darius, is having a baby shower for his expecting wife. It should be good times :]

Take a deep breath and stay positive. I’m trying.

The death of Ben’s car

On Saturday morning Ben woke up at 6AM to head to work (ridiculous, I know). Soon after, I got a call from him. For a split second before I answered the phone I was secretly hoping it would be him telling me that we won the Mega Millions jackpot from the previous night, but I was sadly mistaken. He instead informed me that his car had broken down on 464, and he needed me to come pick him up and bring him to work. At that point, not only was I bummed we didn’t win the lottery, now I had to deal with a disabled vehicle. I hopped out of bed, scrambled to get some clothes on, and left the house half sleeping.

I found Ben on the side of 464, and he did not look happy. Who could blame him?! It took the AAA flatbed about 15 minutes to get there (God bless AAA!) and after the car was loaded on the truck, we lead the way to our mechanics shop. We wouldn’t know the extent of the damage until at least Monday.

Well, yesterday was Monday, and we found out. Ben’s Passat needs a new engine and some additional work done to the front end tires. So basically, the work is going to cost more than the car is worth at this point. Total bummer. What’s worse is that the cause of this, the timing belt, was replaced 2 years ago. However, to our dismay it was a cheap belt.

We’re not quite sure what we’re going to do yet, but boy was I not expecting this. Ugh! We’re trying to be optimistic, but it’s tough — especially when we didn’t win the lottery. HA!

My current health status

It’s nearly 10PM on a Saturday night, and I’m home, sick.

On Thursday morning I woke up with a sore throat, and it only got worse from there. By the end of the work day I had used up an entire box of tissues, and probably grossed out nearly all my coworkers (good thing they are all boys who fart and burp). Needless to say I didn’t make it into work yesterday, and decided to go to the doctor to get checked out, and to make sure it wasn’t swine flu. I’m serious. Well, I don’t have the swine flu, nor do I have strep, so basically it’s just some heinous viral infection. Last night was rough (I woke up some serious nausea), but overall I’m feeling better today. I’m not quite 100%, but if things progress like I’m hoping they will, I’ll be 75% there tomorrow.

In other news, I don’t know why, but my facsination with shows like Trauma: Life in the E.R. and Dr. G Medical Examiner, is growing. I watched like 4 or 5 episodes of the former yesterday, while I was on my couch dying, and I was enthralled. Ben thinks those shows are disgusting, but something about surgeries, emergency situations, and disecting the human body, really interest me. Go ahead, call me crazy!

Well, I’m going to go ahead and lay in bed and watch TV until I fall asleep (hopefully something good is on, if you know what I mean)! The “sick” taste in my mouth remains, so I’m going to go brush my teeth for the 5th time today, which only helps for about 10 minutes until that taste comes back. What’s up with that?!